Bad. Sad. Bored. Tired. No good. At all.

My room is a mess, disaster, natural disaster. This week will be a catastrophe, the biggest one I will ever experience. And yet I hope there will be a great outcome for these 5 days of hell.

I am supposed to study, but I seem to fail in pulling myself together. Bad. Very bad.
All those social network websites with pictures of friends, and of those girls I do not love, and of me having fun, are attracting me like a magnet. Three hours ago I said that I will start studying in one hour. Since then I have been sitting around, blogging or reading blogs or uploading pictures.
I will fall asleep before I even open one of those chemistry books. Why? Why? Why?
I bought another magazine today. Sad. Very sad. I am a tree killer (as Jason calls me). I did not read it. I think I will go pick it up from my bag. If I think twice…too lazy to go all the way.
It’s too hot. This is not a true spring. It’s a fake one. No good. No good at all.
Swine flu in Canada. I am scared. I don’t know why. I am afraid.
I just don’t want to study. I will blame it on the news. I am bored. Extremely.

Is it just me or hell broke loose? Wish me luck. I am going to study. Really. Just another blog. And then I will study. PROMISE!

So...I am back

I know. Never kept my promise. Never kept it until now. I know. I have not written in two - three, almost four - months. However, I cannot be blamed. You know: busy schedule, school, work, shopping, magazines, shopping, work, shopping again, shopping twice, movies, etc.

Needless to say, I am not proud of myself. I have lost my inspiration for quite a while now.

Let me begin with what I actually wanted to begin. I have not done anything since February. Who is there to blame? Me! I have no new stories, just good news: I am getting out of adult education! Finally! I was accepted to CEGEP.

For almost two years, I have spent my time redoing the stuff I have already done before I left Romania. I enjoyed it. Good marks, easy exams. One might ask: so what did you learn in two years of Canada? I might answer: nothing!

However, I take back my words. I regret saying that I do not love this country and that I do not find my place. I regret believing that it was unfair, and that I lost my time. I learned French(I am a-very-proud-of-myself polyglot), I learned how money make our lives better, but they do not lead it towards a better place. I have learned to appreciate what others are. I have learned not to underestimate myself, nor my friends, nor my enemies.

What I have really learned, something of which I am not only proud, but very satisfied of, is that life is not fun when it works out the way you planned it. I have accomplished more now, when I was not happy, and when I was struggling to find a way out of my sh***y situation. I have created more memories. Therefore, I have more stories to tell, more to think of, more to learn from.

Believe me when I say: I do not feel like leaving this school. I strive under stress. I succeed when I fear I will fall. The end is always sweeter when I fight.

Let us see what the next chapter brings. If there is no stress, I shall create it!